Sitting at his desk Jack looked at the files before him, recent events and rift activity they were looking over. A few things from Tosh about her findings with technologies that had fallen through the rift and what she had found out about them, missing persons reports Gwen had been working on and a scribbled note from Owen saying he knocked Myfanwy’s sauce all over his reports and she’d eaten them. A little joke that made Jack chuckle a little.

Looking up when he heard the knock on his office door he smiled, “Come in,” and in walked Ianto with a tray with coffee and biscuits on it.

“I thought you’d be wanting some refreshment Sir,” Ianto spoke in his well spoken way as usual, “And I took the liberty of bringing you a few biscuits as well Sir, chocolate hobnobs.”

( Oh, you do spoil me. )

Jack Harkness
Doctor who/Torchwood
841 words icluding lyrics from "I wanna make love to you" - Etta James.

Drinking down some of the hyper vodka Jack laughed at Rose’s reply to the truth question, “So you’re telling me that you’re first time was really that bad? What is it with young boys, only interested on getting in there, having their fun and leaving. I’ll never understand that at all.” He looked over at the Doctor who seemed to be more than a little quiet, “You don’t have anything t say on this matter?”

Raising his eyebrow the Doctor looked at Rose and motioned towards the bottle, “You’re supposed to spin that right?” He really didn’t want to talk about Rose’s sex life, it was more than a little strange for a few reasons so staying quiet seemed the best option for that. Well that and drinking this vodka drink that Jack had made for them all.

Grinning at Rose as she reached to spin the bottle he took another drink and peered at her over the top of the glass, “I think that, as your friend, I should make sure that you’ve had one mind blowing sexual experience.”

“Is that right?”

“Of course, and you wouldn’t be able to say…oh it’s me.” He looked at Rose and gave him a winning smiled, “C’mon then Tyler, what have you got for me? I’ll have a dare.”

After a while Rose just grinned at him, “Alright then, Mr sexual experiences, I dare you to give us a strip show, right down to your birthday suit.”

“Oh Rose no, you know that he’ll…” The Doctor looked up in time to see Jack standing over them both; “Now you’ve gone and done it Rose.” He rubbed his eyes with his hand, trying to ignore Rose laughing.

Walking over to the console Jack pressed a few buttons and music filled the console room. In his usual cocky way he strode over to where Rose and the Doctor were sitting on the floor and began to say a little to the music, “Do you have one of those cameras on your phone Rose? You could video this and put it on the internet; you’d get loads of hits from it.” And that just made Rose laugh all the more, the thought of him up stripping on the net, he’d love that.

Moving to the music he watched the Doctor’s face and just laughed, more so when Rose god redder and couldn’t pull her eyes from what he was doing. To the music he slipped his braces off of his shoulders and let them hang by his hips before pulling up his white t-shirt and spinning it around his head, throwing it so it hit the Doctor in the face. Something that made Rose laugh all the more.

He moved with a masculine grace, posing every once in a while to show off his muscles before gyrating once more. It was strange how he got his boots and socks off and made it look sexy and not like someone just taking off their shoes and socks. Then came the button and zip of his trousers, Jack knew they were both watching, even if the Doctor was trying not to. Slowly, teasingly he undid the top button and then the zip to reveal bright white boxers, muscular thighs and claves, all part of his body he knew they were taking in. Jack moved around and bent over, wiggling his still clothed backside in their faces before standing up and cheekily pulling down a little of his boxers to show part of his cheek off before pulling it back up and doing the same to the other side. Ever so slowly he began to shimmy out of the boxers and threw them over his shoulder, grinning when they landed in Rose’s lap before he turned around to face them.

Then in his full glory Jack stood before Rose and the Doctor completely butt naked and wearing only a smile. “Next time Rose, dare me to do something challenging.”

A great poet once said “Death is nothing at all,” and in truth he was far from being right. Death is everything to a man like me, a man who cannot die. I always liked to live on the edge, a life on the go, never ending. Taking and getting everything I always wanted until one day. That was the day I was saved from death, the day I came back. I remember that day so well, the man I was before I met Rose and the Doctor was long gone. I had gone from a coward to a hero and I was going to fight to save the planet below us. A planet out of my time and one I wasn’t even from. But I understood, I knew the importance of the people upon it, and I had to save them.

I could hear the sounds of gun’s firing and the screams of those around as they were ‘exterminated’ by the Dalek’s, and as the gun in my hand vibrated and I moved backwards from the Dalek that was advancing upon me I welcomed death for it would be the death of a hero. They were getting closer and my heart was thumping hard in my chest, I knew what was coming but I wouldn’t give up, I would fight till the end.

Then the end came and stood there tall and proud of the man I had become, a change brought about because of the Doctor.

And then came the beginning, a beginning to begin all beginnings. The start of me never being able to stay dead. Slumped on the floor I gasped a breath and I was pulled from the blackness, the nothingness that death brought. Alone I sat, disorientated and alone, nothing but Dalek dust around me and dead body after dead body. And as I lived and died, lived and died, the only true companion I held was death, and not my own. I lived decades and watched strangers, friends and loved ones die. I’ve known others witness my death and not understand what I come back. I remember their faces as they watch me come back to life and I remember their faces as I watch them die.

Death is not my friend, it’s something out of my grasp and yet always around me, most humans feat death and desire life eternal. It seems I have life eternal and I desire death. How cruel is the universe to always give you what you don’t want?

To me, the more the merrier!

1. I'm
2. Not
3. A
4. Man
5. Who
6. Kisses
7. And
8. Talks
9. About
10. It.

At least that's what I tell people.

1. Standing on top of a Chula ship dancing and trying to seduce a certain Miss Tyler. It was the beginning really, the beginning of a different me.

2. Teleporting Rose and Mr Spock (aka The Doctor) out of that basement and into the Chula ship.

3. Readying to give my life to save those who were standing below a bomb that was about to hit London in the middle of the blitz. The first moment I started to stop being a coward.

4. Rose Tyler + hyper vodka + truth or dare + the Doctor. I found out how much I could actually care about people. I was able to have friends and keep them.

5. When I died and rose from the dead.

6. Using my vortex manipulator to try and get back to Earth after the Doctor left me behind and ending up going too far into the past.

7. Realising for the first time I couldn’t die. The worst one being when I ended up with a javelin in my head.

8. Being prepared to give my life for the world while trying to stop Abbadon from destroying it.

9. Jumping onto the TARDIS and holding onto it with all of my might. Unable to let go because I knew that the Doctor would have answers that I needed to hear.

10. The moment the Doctor told me about what I was, what I had become and how he and Rose had left me behind on purpose. Or at least he had.

A pterodactyl's for life. Not Christmas!

1. Ianto, do you think you could just go home tonight without staying behind and having ‘private’ time with me?
2. Owen, could you please act a little more like the prat we know you are?
3. Gwen for once could you just shut up and stop caring so much?
4. Owen, could you please take over while I go on holiday?
5. Tosh, do you think you could try and find a way to make me die?
6. Could you please try and make better coffee, Ianto?
7. Rose. You, me, the Doctor, all three of us in one bed?
8. When is it all going to be over?
9. Ianto, could I have a cup of tea please?
10. Doctor? Why don’t you stay here with us, come work for Torchwood with me?

1. Time after time – Cyndi Lauper

2. If you want my body – Rod Stewart

3. I miss you – Blink 182

4. Who am I? - Les Miserables Soundtrack

5. Wonderful world – Louis Armstrong

6. Easy - Lionel Richie

7. Mac the knife – Bobby Darrin

8. That’s life - Frank Sinatra

9. My way - Frank Sinatra

10. The show must go on - Queen

1. Gasping back to life he took a moment to get his bearings, everything seemed so strange to him here. He was sure he had just died.

“Jack…Jack!” Roses panicking voice came over the speaker system, “Hurry up, something’s wrong with the Doctor.”

He pushed himself to his feet and ran as fast as he could, all the way up to the top of the station and into the TARDIS. He got there in time to see the Doctor change.

2. “Oh, now I like this body, mmmm, very nice indeed,” his hands run down his body as he speaks in a very feminine voice, “Oh, little Jackie boy does have some fantastic equipment. And it’s not been used in a while, my my, he wants her.”

“Cassandra, get out of his body this instant, do you hear me. I’m getting mad and believe me, you don’t want me mad.”

3. “Doctor, my old friend. It is time to hear that one thing I must tell you.”

The Doctor looked at the face of Boe as he stood next to him, Martha at his side.

“Rose finds a way back.”

4. “Hey, no falling asleep on me now,” he kissed up her body slowly before nipping at her neck. “C’mon Rose, you’re young, you’re supposed to be filled with loads of energy.”

“Jack, I think three times in one night is enough to tire anyone out.”

5. “Sorry Doctor, I’m not interested. I’m not that kind of guy. Strictly heterosexual.”

6. “Don’t be too long on his mission baby, Jr and I will miss you too much.”

7. “I was married once, but as she aged and I didn’t I realised that things wouldn’t really work out all that well for her. I ended up having to fake my own death so people wouldn’t realise there was something wrong and try and do things to me.”

8. “Ianto, what you did was reckless and unthinking. Bringing Lisa here like this cost lives. You’re fired and in five minutes you won’t remember anything because I’ve already retconned you.”

9. “Gwen, do you have to hog the covers, it’s a little cold over here.”

10. “Owen I trust you to look after the hub, I’ve decided to go on holiday for a year or so, keep the world safe.”